i wanna share my pc specs! and a major story behind it i guess
Hii!! I basically just want to share with all of you my pc specs so here you go! (i kinda copied what normally shows in the "system requirements" section on steam)
and... i guess that's it?
Back in the day I used to only have my dad's work laptop. This laptop's peak was that one time when it was able to run Halo: Reach, and I even finished the game there. I genuinely don't know how.
It's a work laptop dammit. I was frustrated when I was unable to run the games I would like to play. I cannot fathom the amount of time wasted on searching tutorial videos on "how to boost fps" or "how to increase ram" with "100% LEGIT" in the titles. Only about now I learned that there are no such miracles like that, the one and only way is to just upgrade the specs (well i'm sorry for not having any money as a teenager). I also swore to myself that I'll play some of the games I wanted to play but couldn't when the time of having a new pc comes (more on this later).
this is NOT my laptop, but a pretty nice representation
I'm just saying very briefly, that those times of playing games with my friends and stuff were not very much enjoyable for me, but that is a story for another time. Anyways, with my unstable mental health in mind... welcome to high school! We hope you enjoy your stay, and as a reward for your very fucking unnecessarily hard work that you did, you get to have a new pc! Oh, but it looks like...
school depression moment
I had a "best" friend. Me and him, other than joining others to play popular games, would play coop games together every now and then. So our game-related relationship was stronger than with anybody else. Entering high school, I obtained a new pc, but he didn't. Okay, sounds like it's no big of a deal at all. But I made it big. I didn't tell him at all I got a new pc. Throughout the first year, he would, like always, complain about his potato laptop all the time when we were playing together. He told me how we would like to try even better games when we finally had a new pc. If only he knew. That was my 1 year full of guilt. Why didn't I tell him? Quoting from my very own diary entry talking about this: "Well again, the reason I didn't say this to him because I don't want him to feel bad (I'm being too kind again)." Silly me! I didn't want him to feel bad because I got a pc before him! Instead, I'm the one who had to bite the bullet and go through all of that horrible guilt trip. Quoting again: "I may consider this the biggest lie of my life but it still isn't anything too serious. I have nothing responsible that I must do, me and him still progress life normally."
Remember the games you wanted to play when you finally had the chance, me? Of course you don't. I can't even say the unspeakable acts I first did when I got the new pc without raising some eyebrows. I somehow forgot? Did those bad instincts of yours take over me again? Short answer, yes. Sorry, you probably don't understand what I'm saying. Through what is probably teenager issues, I lack the ability to decide for myself. I let the deepest, darkest habits take control of me. So, even when the pc is finally here, even now, I don't have any motivation to try out games at all. Or maybe simply I was already bored of playing games? I was weird man.
literally me rethinking my life choices
I actually had to relive the haunting memories to be able to write this. I can quite confidently say I am not like that anymore. I said that I would try some games this summer; that I'll do, while still simultaneously do all of the studies need. All the while documenting my journey here for some few random strangers to see. If you somehow read this to the end, thank you, truly.
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